Wow, what a way to go! I love the fight scene the movements look great and I think my favorite shot is the one with the character busting open the doors and walking in. I like the foreboding shadows and the crouched figure. Maybe you might want to add in a few more shots in between losing the sword and the kiss to make the scene run a little smoother. Can't wait to see the final product!
Looks pretty cool with a good mix of framing and composition. I like the idea of the story, with a twist at the end, but I do wish I could see more of their relationship building up to that point. I believe you had mentioned including brief flashes of them together to coincide with weapon clashes, and I really like that idea. If you wanted to skip that, maybe they could each have an item that obviously shows they have a history together, like each wearing a pendant that has half of a broken medallion.
Even without an obvious history, I feel the story works, even if the man's thought process is, "I'm dying and she's hot, so I'll kiss her because I have nothing to lose." Ha ha.
I really like the mood and the intensity of the scene. As it has been mentioned keep developing that fighting scene and character's relationship.
In panel 3 give us a shot that shows the distance between her and the entrance. From panels 10 to 18 work in continuity as it gets confusing. Take time to look at action sequences in films. Research and incorporate more dynamic camera angles. Also study your environment and have the characters interact with it.
Nicely done Mike. The story reads well and the actions are varied and entertaining. Like others have commented, I wouldn't have known that the two characters knew each other if I hadn't previously known the story, so adding some element that ties them together would help. I'd also enjoy some more action around shot 10 (more clashes of weapons, ducks, dodges, etc.) just to make it more of a fight, but that's me nitpicking.
Shot 10-11 is confusing - it looks like the start of the fight with the swords clashing (classic), but then he gets cut in the back. Need to see her action to cut him in the back. Before 19, show her thrusting the spear into his gut, rather than just the spear coming out of an apparent body. And then after 19, add a picture of his/and her face, to show that he's just given up and just wants to be with her. And after he kisses her, show her reaction after he just falls to the down, rather than just have suddenly off-screen.
I like that you're doing in action sequence, even though it's really hard, in general. It definitely has the action - as in, I don't get bored reading it -, and keep that pace up when you make adjustments. Good gesture lines and form, so keep the level of art up there too. Nice work!
Wow, what a way to go! I love the fight scene the movements look great and I think my favorite shot is the one with the character busting open the doors and walking in. I like the foreboding shadows and the crouched figure. Maybe you might want to add in a few more shots in between losing the sword and the kiss to make the scene run a little smoother. Can't wait to see the final product!
ReplyDeleteLooks pretty cool with a good mix of framing and composition. I like the idea of the story, with a twist at the end, but I do wish I could see more of their relationship building up to that point. I believe you had mentioned including brief flashes of them together to coincide with weapon clashes, and I really like that idea. If you wanted to skip that, maybe they could each have an item that obviously shows they have a history together, like each wearing a pendant that has half of a broken medallion.
ReplyDeleteEven without an obvious history, I feel the story works, even if the man's thought process is, "I'm dying and she's hot, so I'll kiss her because I have nothing to lose." Ha ha.
Nice work!
ReplyDeleteI really like the mood and the intensity of the scene. As it has been mentioned keep developing that fighting scene and character's relationship.
In panel 3 give us a shot that shows the distance between her and the entrance. From panels 10 to 18 work in continuity as it gets confusing. Take time to look at action sequences in films. Research and incorporate more dynamic camera angles. Also study your environment and have the characters interact with it.
Nicely done Mike. The story reads well and the actions are varied and entertaining. Like others have commented, I wouldn't have known that the two characters knew each other if I hadn't previously known the story, so adding some element that ties them together would help. I'd also enjoy some more action around shot 10 (more clashes of weapons, ducks, dodges, etc.) just to make it more of a fight, but that's me nitpicking.
ReplyDeleteShot 10-11 is confusing - it looks like the start of the fight with the swords clashing (classic), but then he gets cut in the back. Need to see her action to cut him in the back. Before 19, show her thrusting the spear into his gut, rather than just the spear coming out of an apparent body. And then after 19, add a picture of his/and her face, to show that he's just given up and just wants to be with her. And after he kisses her, show her reaction after he just falls to the down, rather than just have suddenly off-screen.
ReplyDeleteI like that you're doing in action sequence, even though it's really hard, in general. It definitely has the action - as in, I don't get bored reading it -, and keep that pace up when you make adjustments. Good gesture lines and form, so keep the level of art up there too. Nice work!